The Love Trigger
shared love as a path to self love (written by my AF partner Taryn Longo)
Self Love has a really great PR agent. It’s everywhere these days. It’s all the rage, to love yourself. And yes, we should all love ourselves. We should be sweet to ourselves, have our own back, give ourselves the support and the care we need and deserve.
But in our experience, self love is pretty much bullshit unless you have the ability to deeply, with thoughtfulness, love others. Especially as women. And for a lot of us, it actually is a much easier and more effective route towards real self love.
A lot of the women we connect with through Awakened Feminine, ourselves included, have not always been so good to ourselves. A lot of us don’t necessarily come from backgrounds of healthy living or self-care. A lot of us, quite frankly, come from a background of destruction, self-abuse, toxic relationships, and even trauma. A lot of us have gone through some pretty tough stuff. And really, that is why we are on the paths we are on, and that is why we are seeking deeper and more meaningful relationships with each other.
So for a lot of us, it just doesn’t come so naturally to love ourselves. We spent too many years hating ourselves, and even though we do intense transformative work, it’s still something we continuously work on. So we have found that a much better path to self-love is truly giving others love. Loving our fellow women serves as a love trigger. It opens up our hearts, gets us out of a place of fear and a feeling of lack, and it shifts us into a space where it’s not just about us. It uplifts us, and through that uplifting it brings us into a space of joy and motivation.
A lof of women aim to practice solid self love. They do yoga, get massages, get their hair done, get pedicures, take pretty good care of themselves. They are learning how to say no, they are learning when to say yes. They are learning how to put their needs first and how to demand what it is that they need. These are great qualities, and an absolutely vital practice, especially for those of us who have others to care for and can easily put our own needs last. It’s probably safe to say that most of us do somewhat well in this area some of the time, and at the same time most of us could also keep working on it and be more consistent with it.
But that gnarly feeling that still sits in your stomach after a yoga class? That offness that is still inside after a massage? That feeling of fear and lack that you feel when your friend tells you of her accomplishments….no amount of self-love is going to totally fix that. At least it doesn’t seem so to us, based on our experience, because it keeps it all way too focused just on the “me” factor. So what have we found that does shift that gnarly feeling? Showering our friends and fellow women in love, support, and encouragement. Dousing our own selves with love is not always the key, we need to share our love with others. We need to believe in each other and cheerlead each other with sincerity. We need to see how awesome our fellow woman is and point it out, and we need to feel the joy in each other’s accomplishments.
We need to take on an approach of devoted loving service to each other….realizing that serving each other and being there for each other is a not only a pathway to beautiful and meaningful friendships, but to a beautiful and meaningful relationship with ourselves. We need to be there for each other because we want to be, and because we care, no matter what is going on in our own lives; even in the moments we feel in need ourselves, maybe especially in those moments. When we open the floodgates of love and care onto others, there is no option but to let it flow into ourselves. When done with sincerity, shared love leads to self love. We’d like to invite you to really try it. And let us know what you experience.
Taryn & Awakened Feminine