Bring me a Higher Love
Today in the Art of Loving You (and everyone else...) experiment :
The Courage to bring me a Higher Love
One of the most basic assumptions in the yoga tradition is that you are good. That everything deep down at the core is. That you are not broken. I find many of us forget that in the spiritual and recovery world. We get serious and hard because we care so much about healing and helping. And because f we take these teachings on seriously, chances are we will come face to face with all that is between us and that truth. This is where courage, faith and trust comes in. And those who reminds us of joy and the awareness of this life experiment!
Although I don't have to go searching for love in the wrong places so much anymore, even when I search in the right places sometimes I don't "find" it. Meaning I don't feel love inside my heart all the time when I'm alone, even though I want to. Unless I'm in love, under a waterfall, the desert or lying in the dirt (so many conditions) which aren't the most sustainable life circumstances or experiences. Besides I'm a yogi and I'm here to love a full life and get free. Anyway I'm curious if this is how one develops faith.
This morning as I sat and did my mantra in meditation feeling the energy of "it" massively separate from "me" I am overwhelmed with fear, sadness as well as gratitude for sobriety, awareness, and connection to others in this life.
For those teachers and masters and elders who hold the possibility to stay inside that vibration all the time I feel thankful and a little more at ease. Mostly it's a shit show in there but irregardless of how I feel about it my heart needs attention and love no matter what. So I choose to try and keep the tender and lose the blue.
I get so "high" on love and connection with others I feel a profound shift when I'm alone. It's not always that way anymore but traces of it linger. Being alone and sober is a gift and it isn't always as free and easy as it looks on Instagram (that's where I post my free and easy practices).
Then I heard this voice ... if I really am myself, who's going to like me? This gold nugget was lodged somewhere inside the overgrown field of wildflowers inside my heart. So I picked it, put it in a mason jar and watched it give it's last offerings of authenticity and humility to my world and will continue to appreciate it's confusing beauty until it dies.
Part of my "story" is that I am going through some thing "intense" inside. I love this story SO MUCH because it means that I am not numb anymore, but today I will practice keeping the tender and dropping the blue. I'm way more turned on by new experiences than old stories.
The power inside friendship, nature, retreats and community is life changing. For lightness and depth, for us to be guided into reflections of who we really are. When I am supporting others the light and love is constant and I'm really thankful and humbled by the work I get to do, turning it around to me is a constant challenge right now. Good thing I love a good love challenge!
This beauty Olivia Clementine and I are leading a retreat in Joshua Tree in November to celebrate exactly who and where you are, invite and invoke support for what you want to shift and open to, and to bring the practices we love so much to you. Yoga, tea ceremony, kirtan, meditation, inner yoga and relational work all in the powerful and loving energy of Joshua Tree! Go here for more. info. <3
Last but not least jokes and laughter are some of my favorite medicines so if you got any today lay em' on me.