the guru's assasin
"How bout unabashedly balling your eyes out? How bout not equating death with stopping? Thank you India. Thank you terror. Thank you frailty. Thank you consequence. Thank you disillusionment!" ~Alanis Morissette
Ok let's start over. I mean we haven't even begun yet but let's start over anyway. It's more fun that way, keeps things exciting.
When you wake up one day and decide to build a life that is alignment with your soul, you just may find things inside and start to, well burn. Or you feel terror instead of little old fear. So learning how to start over can be really helpful. In my case towers came crashing down, their ashes drifted into rivers where women bathed in colorful clothes and touched each others feet out of reverence for the Divine Feminine in all. They sang and howled like wild animals with their devotion to God. That's where I started over.
On a conscious life path if we get to choose our life (once things crash and burn or gently float away depending on your karma I suppose) why not build on top of moist, fertile ground. Roses, high vibe art, forests and sheepskin rugs. Why not build it on words like liberation, bliss, joy, honesty, courage and compassion. Devotion and longing. Sanskrit words like Hridayam which means "the cave of the heart."
Why not build it somewhere that will benefit the good of all. Somewhere where you can rest inside and find kindness in your mind.
In any case if you attempt to build your life the gifts from Grace will flood into whatever sized container you choose to create. Don't stress, you'll most likely have another shot. That being said Go Big. Grace is always awaiting our heart's work. But Grace don't care how you look while you build it.
Grace don't care if your intentions are set perfectly or with the right crystal. She likes when you get your hands dirty and sometimes your hair a little knotty. The way it does naturally after any good love making session. Grace is always ready to come.
When you open your inner eye and lay down at her feet you just might feel the warmth on your back that you've been searching for. The confirmation the it is ok to let go. Again. That is is ok to build with her, again.
The sun magically crosses through the sky without ever having to move. In our minds we think she's going somewhere but inside the heart of this hard earned light you finally begin to rest inside the trust that there is something to lean on.
The old structures will pop up and we may choose to burn them down or just let them be loved so fully they won't stand a chance. Holding authenticity and Grace you will not back down. You will stand up again, even if it's tomorrow. You will at some point effortlessly enjoy the flight.
You are not afraid to burn for what you believe in. You are not afraid to jump because you've already crashed and died. And now you may not always remember, but you can fly.
They say the guru comes (even gets paid) to assassinate your ego. The rid you of incorrect beliefs, the old unhelpful structures. It's painful, it's rewarding, it's everything you could never imagine. Then one fine day you choose to stand up inside your own heart so fully, knowing parts of you will die again anyway, and you fearlessly fire back. You fire with every once of love your entire body and soul could conjure up. Your light was hard earned and now with Tom Petty by your side, you won't back down.
There once was a tower built and oh how it continues to burn with this great Love. Now you can leave it and rest in the rivers and at the feet of men and women who know how to love you. Inside this spaciousness you realize the Guru was you all along. That fall that you were sure at one point would kill you, was really a rising into a love totally worth burning for.