Celebrating the Father Wound


As you forgive the pain, you feel the Love. 

This is a celebration of all fathers! As I heal the love I share with mine, I learn to respect, honor and cherish you more and more. Our father is the place we turned to for protection and as we learn from the mistakes and the wounding we become more whole and able to be with ourselves and one another in authentic presence and care.

This is for all those out there that have been called "needy" and for all those who have failed in the ways they were meant to protect the one's they love. 

We are all children in this world. "Re-parenting" is a huge part of the work we do on the path of liberation. We must become our own parents if we are to be free, and the heal the ways we are controlled by the holes that have been left in our hearts. 

The bandaid of the father wound rips off and you see how all the love you've been chasing for outside disappears and you are forced into the belly of the whale. 

As you forgive the pain, you feel the Love. 

You may find yourself looking for relief from the pressure of holding so much unresolved hurt in sex and attention, in substances. Your intuitive knowing and wisdom, your creative power, your Shakti gets drained from confusing and unclear relations. Walking around longing for love but unwilling to receive it. 

Yet here you are breathing a chosen Love, a God given love into the heart of yours that had to break in order to blossom. You begin to remember that it was never about "him", that God is not only a he but also a she, a you, a place to rest when all else fails.  

I can still taste the chinese food we used to eat, the eggplant parm sandwiches from Santino's. Cutting your hair in the bathroom when your hair stylist was away. 

Making gratitude lists with you to bring in some light to the otherwise heavy den you called your home. The jokes you told, the humor you brought to a family carrying the weight of abuse and chained up in addiction. Ironically the wildness that killed you is the same wildness that set me free. 

As you forgive the pain, you feel the Love. 

The past in only alive when we choose, or it chooses us, to come alive in the present. In my sadhana this year (spiritual practice aka my life) brought me to my knees on a hike in Topanga canyon and I received a transmission of intense healing light that moved through me and felt so protective yet attentive, so complete and whole. 

The Love of "the Father" came into me and I was no longer a woman who needed to take care of men in ways that were not reciprocated. In an instant the story that I had this funny but also troubled, addict father dissolved into a great release and opening. I felt the masculine in me and how that is solid, free of those chains, free of other people's burdens.

As you forgive the pain, you feel the Love. 

None of us are needy, we are just not sure how to set boundaries, how to speak our truth when someone else is really not willing to listen. How to state our values and needs, and how to walk away when the really big ones aren't being met.

The father has given me many gifts, one of them being the pain of self-abandonment. The lack of connection to who I really am that created stories of co-dependence, judgement on myself for having "father issues". But the truth is that almost everyone has them, and the more extreme the greater the opportunity for spiritual sovereignty and conscious, intimate partnership and relating.

As you forgive the pain, you feel the Love. 

It may be hard to believe given all the madness that goes on in this world, in our own hearts but there is Love underneath it all. It's not easy to stand up in the face of so many things that have pushed you down and know who you really are. To acknowledge other people's perceptions of you as places  and parts in your own body that need your attention and care. 

But as we all awaken to what we truly value, learn how to speak those needs with clarity and with strength we can change the dynamics that we live inside. It begins inside and gets tested on the out. The man who was my best friend at some point became my enemy as I shifted through and brought the unconscious father in me to the light. And that man, who was in a way my connection to God, the Father the Almighty became another soul. Another piece of light that brought some fierce lessons and a ton of laughter. 

As you forgive the pain, you feel the Love. 

May we all feel free from the burdens and the anger of our past. May we all become liberated from the need to look for what is wrong with us, always trying to make ourselves right in order to be loved. May we stop lying to ourselves and one another. and learn true forgiveness.

May we see how the hiding we do hurts us and those we love, pushes us away from the source of our true power which is our vulnerability. May our voices emerge from the depths and be spoken with truth. May we come to know our true worth, the power of the Father that is a container for the bigness of who we are here to be and how we are here to serve. 

May we forgive ourselves for all the times we couldn't, or "they" couldn't. May we take responsibility for the ways we have harmed and been hurt, and learn how to build a bridge of greater intimacy and awareness between us through the willingness to listen and work things through instead of run away. May we have the strength to walk away from relationships that are harming and not resonating with our core values and integrity, even if it has to be messy. 

May Grace give us the power to feel our soul and the souls of those around us and return home to Love once again, no matter what, forever and always. May it be so. And so it is. 

As you forgive the pain, you feel the Love. 

Adriana RizzoloComment