Dear Wild Grace
Dear Wild Grace
You've taught me so much. Have I realized what it means to be free yet? Are we really not meant to be getting anywhere? Or is that just a trick you play to get us to fully embrace the enormous gift each precious breath is? Is your wildness in the wind? In the moment of orgasm AND all the mundane moments in between? You know that everything is still making love but I am caught in some old story about men or money. How do you do it Wild Grace? How did you get so free? Was it by writing endless love letters to yourself and everyone you know because thats what I'm doing.
... I know you care so I'll let you know how it goes.
A love letter to my body
I love you. Thanks for helping me experience so much pleasure. I know we haven't perhaps always done the right or healthy thing, and maybe you've been taken advantage of, but perhaps it was only because of how precious and sacred you are and there is darkness in this world too. You hold so much power and many of us were not raised to honor this power.
I grew up hanging out with my dad in strip clubs in New Jersey and although some of the women there I'm sure we're empowered, it led me to think dancing on bars for very little money and a world surrounded by men who can only see with desire and not with deep conscious love was my path.
I didn't know until I began to taste you Wild Grace that my path would take many turns and transformations and not look like that at all. That what used to a wound would be the place where I come home to to find my humility and my gifts. To use my voice, to LOVE my body and honor it. To be this awake and to keep choosing how we live our lives our lives is a big deal.
For all of us (men and women) we've been fed that sex means one thing and love means another but in fact most of it, if not all, is completely false. And boring compared to what a healthy and loving honoring of the body and its ability to experience pleasure intimately can bring. It's time for us to reclaim the privacy of our parts that have gotten mistreated and ignored, shamed and locked away. By others and by the innocence of our own conditioning.
My loving body now that we are here with Wild Grace we are getting free. We might not ever fully arrive to some destination of confidence or expression but I'm having such a great time getting to know you, I'm hope it's a really long ride.
I want to be just like my friends the stars because the don't seem too concerned with finding peace or happiness but instead they just fucking shine? What if we truly knew getting out of the way of the light that pours from our bodies the way it pours from the sky helped to restore our experience back to one of wholeness?
There is a wisdom that each of us hold inside. This wisdom is not concerned with right or wrong, but it knows everything and is what is True. I call her Grace. Sometimes she's wild, sometimes fierce and sometimes so unbelievably loving.
There are moments of profound freedom and then I remember I have to call the accountant back and get a gold crown on one of my molars so my teeth stay healthy. Living a vast connected life is a trip. Wild Grace is at the dentist and the desert apparently.
This wisdom blows through us in the invisible form of Grace helping us to see and feel what steps we need to take to live in alignment with our Soul and it's deepest callings and desires.
To be fearless to be open. To love the one inside that didn't know any better. To stand up for yourself with even yes ... yourself. Each time I turn a corner, or a page or I do something that I never thought I would I am handed more. I am asked to become more me more the woman I am constantly becoming.
Part of this for me is to completely feel who and how I was on my own. To love the one who listened to others instead of listening to herself because she could not yet feel the power on her own. Standing in the face of betrayal. Making mistake after mistake and still be willing to sit with myself with the intention of self love. Speaking the truth even through a shaken voice and broken heart.
No one ever tells you that a broken heart is an open heart. Until someone really loving and comfortable int heir own skin comes along and does. That a broken heart helps you shine so bright with great friends around. People forget to tell you that the pain is the medicine. The doorway. The end of one thing is always the beginning of another.
Check out our Wild Grace Retreat coming up in Ojai May 12-14th!
Ph | amazing Tanya Sakolsky