Healing The Father Wound (Of The Universe)
Forgiveness, Ancestral Healing + Rebirth – Power + Protection
Healing the father wound of the universe might sound like a pretty big (or useless) job depending on who you ask. Nonetheless here we all are. My experience of working with masculine and feminine energy within us, combined with the unnameable Love of the Soul, is that as I do the work in myself to hold a steady space of Love in the face of harshness, closed-ness and even abuse,this great shift becomes the doorway for us to transform the darkness in this world (and in us) into the very things that protect and honor us deeply.
As they say ... we are the ones we've been waiting for.
The movement of feminism right now is asking us to face and heal deep wounds that our lineages have been carrying and never got to get free from. We all need space and some time to heal what is arising. Women and people are color and all marginalized beings are understandably angry and upset and it's time for men and privileged white people to become more sensitive to what is arising and be willing to connect to how we all feel while holding respectful space for one another. These are intense times asking us to stand up and be more gentle.
These days, due to our political climate and phase of evolution, more than ever is the masculine asking for our Love. Now this might not be your first feeling in response when you look at the news, see the face of who is running our country and all the abuse and tragedy that is happening not just in our little bubbles but all over the world. Pain is real and greed and power have clearly taken us so far from who we really are, so deep into separation there are parts of many of us even that think there is a fundamental difference between you and I.
By no means am I offer an answer to all the world's problems. I'm pretty sure taking that on is what keep us stuck in bed hiding under the covers in depression. What I have learned over these years is that waiting for someone else to do the healing for us has never and will never happen. No matter how many women stand up, say the rights things, get elected (please goddess yes) but as long as we are not doing the work in our own hearts to forgive and then be in the awareness that we are forgiven and can hold space for others to enter their own hearts, I'm not sure how much we can really do.
Many of us get caught and trapped in victim consciousness and in blame, shame and guilt. If we can't see the places in us that want to be forgiven, the ways that we gossip and hold ourselves hostage to what happened int he past, how can we be fearless enough to show up and Love this world the way it needs to be Loved and cared for right now? How can we be the Mothers of not just our children but of our lives and of this world?
My feeling is that the old model of secular families that don't open their arms to the rest of the world and communities are missing out on a huge opportunity to help heal this father wound we all seem to have or at least are being asked to face for the collective consciousness right now. The father wound has been a way for me over the years of my healing journey to turn my deepest fears int o my greatest power, to shift abandonment into authority, and to turn loss into love.
There are many ways and practices that I have use and use in my life to fill the hole inside with things that will uplift and inspire myself and others, but most of all it takes time, patience and a fuck ton of compassion and forgiveness. You don't have to believe in anything to feel the power of forgiveness. It is not a way to justify the ways we've been hurt and the ways we have betrayed our brothers and sisters, but it is a way to take out power back into our own hearts so we can walk forward with greater awareness and empathy.
There is something so healthy about your human-ness. So healing about your rage and feeling the hurt your ancestors were never able to consciously feel and heal. To free ourselves and those who walked before us from the blame, the shame and the guilt that this world has led us all to believe is the truth of who we are, is one of the greatest gifts you can give to humanity right now.
When walking the path of the feminine we open to such boundless love and compassion that we can't actually be touched or harmed on the deepest level. As humans we get harmed and we harm, we disappoint and feel rejected. We are still beings of Love, even when we feel separate form the very thing that can not actually ever be taken away.
How do we stay awake in the face of emotional triggers that our evolution is asking us not to bypass any longer? To be spiritual beings these days, we must know who we are beyond the limitations of these bodies and minds, AND we must also descend into the feelings that arise to become masters of the liberation that is right here waiting for us to let go into as we relax our shoulders. As we walk hand in hand, and give our burdens back with blessings to where they came from.
Sometimes you have to shake and move it out of your body, giving the deep ancient rage and grief some space. This is a revolutionary moment in your own world which affect the world we all live in. We are one body. You can feel my nervous system when we sit together and naturally we will rise to the higher vibration or to whatever is not in alignment with love so that we can heal and come home yet once again.
Last week I received an energetic transmission into my body while on a walk in Topanga Canyon. My long dead father has been visiting me recently, reassuring me that I no longer have to take care of him, that he has healed and is here to help. I've been playing around with inviting his energy into my life, out to dinner, to see how it feels. It feels amazing. I've missed him a lot over the years of processing so much anger and pain that he caused me in my life.
As I walked barefoot through the dirt of the dry Southern California hills my knees became weak, the way they do when you have been carrying a burden for too long. I fell to the ground and softened so deeply that I felt this powerful masculine "Father" energy enter my body and I cried and I said I was sorry to people in my life that I know I have hurt. I asked for forgiveness to the parts of my self I have abandoned recently and over the course of my life.
I felt powerful as I surrendered to this moment of Divine intervention. I was humbled by the beauty in this protection that was coming through my being. I stood, carried on with my walk, talked with an older man about his dog Sheila for a minute and got back in my car.
We all have the power to heal within us. Ultimately it is up to Grace, but I feel that we can open to a great power that will uplift and inspire, that will protect and awaken us in hard moments. To me Grace is the power in us and all around to transform. It is the wisdom we gather in the fires we are asked to walk through in life.
Grace is how I've made it this far, and we all have different experiences of this life affirming, life changing and saving energy, but as we turn our focus inside, in a world where it may seem like it's not needed because everything outside is crying for our attention and help, it can be the very thing that stitches up the tear in the universe that your soul came here to mend.
We all have a purpose, we all hold a light in us, and an intensity of humanness too. We can help see one another as the same, and acknowledge how very powerful that is, even if it's not what we were taught growing up.
Even if the majority of your friends or this society is saying otherwise, only you know what is true and what is real. And if you ask me, the Power of Love is the only thing that can save us now. That can give us the courage to feel and heal for our ancestors. That can help us awaken to how our ignorance can become the places in us that are wildly liberated. Breathe in the beauty in to see the beauty in the sadness and make our mark here no matter how many times we've failed.
In hopes that we will wake up from this dream of separateness and find that in our love drunk state we got the word forgiven tattooed on our hearts. We do not have to heal because we are broken, we heal because we know that we are already whole care about the world. So breathe deep and keep going, keep forgiving, keep doing the very thing you suck at and have the hardest time with. There will be your greatest gifts to us, including serving in this world with the vulnerability and humility we are all craving.
We are here to grow up in our passionate compassion, and in our moments of giving up ... to open our arms.
Reach out to book a long distance or in person rebirth + ancestral healing session. If you live in Los Angeles or Ojai we can do these sessions in nature and go deep.