Trying to remember : one precious life
The thing is, it's all a dream, right? We get what we want, we don't, and the Love, we find, is what remains. Love is like the dreamcatcher of our souls journey.
The other night I had a dream of a car accident. I didn't remember all the details, but I knew I was involved and that no one was hurt. It felt reflective of the preciousness of life I've been having dips into lately, after some time swimming upstream and wanting so badly to quit.
Last night I was driving through the windy roads by my house, and I watched a car loose control, crash and flip over coming in the other direction. I stopped and immediately got out of my car (in my socks) and ran to the accident. As I approached it this girl came crawling out, almost looked like she was floating and the weight of her terrified body landed right my arms. I could tell that she was ok physically. I asked if there was anyone else in the car as I looked at the airbag and broken glass. There wasn't. She didn't want me to let her go for a long time. She called her dad as I held her close to my heart.
I could feel her precious life and love in my arms, and could sense the angels that protected and practically lifted her out from the car. Other people followed up on the scene to help, and after the ambulance arrived, I went home.
Thepreciousness of life was so apparent in that moment. But the truth is that it always is. And it's part of why we naturally hold so tightly sometimes to things we love. We forget about the bigger plans God has in store for us.
I've tried HARD, to hold things - keep them together and the way I want them to look. Take those expanded, ecstatic states and stretch them so far I forget what the heck I'm even doing. Other times I get insanely addicted to some painful story or emotion. But when it comes down to it I get there, even kicking and screaming, because I'm a freedom junkie.
Then I remember I'm just here to help people. That's it. How simple! How exciting! And, what that means is that I must keep going, evolving and showing up in new sometimes amazing, sometimes challenging circumstances. Not just for me, but for the world. For the greater good of all, and partially because I like a challenge and always have.
The other thing is, one of those people I am here to take care of... is me. When all things always change, we have the opportunity to learn that the connection we build is still there. Some days we know what to do, where to go and everyone's smiling with us, and other days we don't, and their not. ;)
Do you know this experience, where you are feeling something awful, terror or grief and everything is saying.. NO YOU CAN'T DO IT! You can't possibly change or let go anymore. The energy of transformation rattling your cage.
Let go or be dragged is one of the teachings I always remember for a good darn reason! The rough patches in this beautiful journey are filled with all of your limiting beliefs and strong desires to just give up. They're supposed to be I guess. The persistence and getting back up no matter how many times we fall is the thing "dreams" are made of, right?
These old parts of you that need some love instead of asking for it, go thrashing. Why don't they just ask? For most of us, no one ever taught us that we were ok no matter what. Some of us were taught that if we weren't needed in some way, we are less than. Some of us have no idea that the power we hold inside deserves to be honored greatly and deeply. Intimately and with care. Because we've never had that, or that part of us has been taken advantage of or used in some way in unconsciousness. And it's just plain scary to stand up and be new on our own. More than most of us admit. Who would we be if we didn't carry the weight of anyone else? Who are you when you let your own drama and bullshit go? Who's there in those moments?
To open our hearts to all things in this world is not easy, and is a process that's needs the support of powers that are inside and all around breathing within us and holding our vision when we can't or don't. When we learn how to face new layers of wounds that have held us back from the womb, it's takes a minute. And a lot of Love.
We are here to show others what is possible with our vulnerability and truth. One on one, in groups, on social media. The more we move through, the more comfortable and safe others will feel in our presence. Including us.
God has been my lover for a little while, but the other day I spontaneously asked God to be my business partner. Because I just don't always trust myself, and I'm working on it, but I trust God more (and hey let's be real, I'm co-dependent.) I realized the part of me that doesn't like to be alone, is the part of me that is also so devoted and fierce about living a life of service, deep authentic connection, with purpose, true happiness and the BEST love. And together ... God and I make a great team!
Years ago in India I remember asking my teacher ... do we ALWAYS have to wake up in a mess?! Haha. I was obviously beginning to see my patterns. I believe he said something like... yes, but that the time we stay in it gets shorter. Other times we avoid them altogether. He said something to that effect. Our awareness of the Divine expands, and we don't stay stuck for too long. We begin to know options on the path. That's why we do the work. Not to stop doing the work, (which is what i'm always kinda looking to do haha), but to use "the work" as the essence and core of our precious lives. It's obvious in people who have been at it for a while like my teachers, elders in the spiritual community, or like Ram Dass. Take a good long look at him.
The bottoms we hit build our relationship to strength and show us how much more we can trust. When we really need it, most of us find that Grace has been there all along. It's not that we have to suffer essentially, but if it's your dharma to be a warrior of love, then you must keep that fire burning, even after you get burned. You have to stand back up into the arms of Grace.
The path we take to fulfill these precious lives, our hearts longings and wishes is one of service, and a commitment to return to Love no matter how far we stray. To do Gods will takes a tremendous amount of courage and persistence. Because you are doing big things. Not that they always look big, they will look different for a ll of us, but nonetheless being able to show up fully in this crazy ass world with your HEART open is a big deal. How you help others no matter what that looks like is a big deal. Because how else would we learn about the magical, divine preciousness of life.
When we wake up, we remember the preciousness of life and the power of Love. We all want to feel love and we all want to belong. And when our worlds are reflecting that JOY! And when they aren't, we have an opportunity to go deeper into our worlds as healers, and lovers and as warriors of the truth, friends, lovers, mothers and business partners of God. (sometimes after a period of kicking and screaming).
I love to witness and be a part of others peoples healing and transformation. It's the most satisfying thing in the world to me to be able to be a support for what is good in the world. I imagine you feel the same. It's why we're here.
Call someone you know needs some love, or reach out for your own heart of you need it, and share kindness and warmth with those around you. Bring enthusiasm into your work and your day, and see what happens. None of us want to live in a world where we are too busy for that.
You and God take good care of your precious life and heart, and I'll do the same. That way, when we come together, magic naturally unfolds.
I love you ... and I see your precious life and heart, even when you think it's in the dark.