Rebirthing Always Becoming
"The artist seeks contact with his intuitive sense of the gods, but in order to create his work, he cannot stay in this seductive and incorporeal realm. He must return to the material realm in order to do his work. It is the artists responsibility to balance mystical communication and the labor of creation." ~Patti Smith
The process of letting go of the old again and again each time become new. How many lifetimes can we live inside each relationship and moment?!
For some stay and stretch out awhile and others come and go in the blink of an eye. REBIRTH is absolutely a part of a beautiful messy path, and the Love Inside project. Getting over ourselves so we can pray for and with others takes trial and error. Together we are learning more and more about the Earth and how to live in harmony with her and all the beings that take up her space. How to share our stories in a safe space so we can drop them and always have the chance to become new again. 💖
This is a story of one lifetime lived in the middle of many inside one woman's fierce hunger for freedom and love.
She used to be lousy at money but she was always turned on, especially at the airport. Rebirthing for her was about taking ALL the good parts of things we learn and leaving behind the not so helpful and even abusive, addictive and plain old mean parts. She's a woman who has lived behind many faces.
Born into a family that needed a lot of care at an early age she learned how to love hard and fast. As she grew pleasure in her body became a way to connect the same way learning all the constellations did. She recreated these families that need care again and again until she realized they all live inside of her anyway, she had a lot of other shit to do and more satisfying relationships to enjoy. She did her best to keep the love and leave all the rest behind.
Unexpected acts of kindness and compassion from others held her through dark days and lonely nights. Liberated and beautiful naked saints with hair down to their feet visited her with tambourines in her dreams. She had visions in meditation of being in the desert with women, their children in all forms, beating their drums and singing without any restriction. She learned that to be a woman can look a million different ways. And that men too could benefit from the surrender that comes from embodying the Divine Feminine.
She loved to be spiritually naked and see other peoples nakedness, both in clothes and without. Often consumed by passion it benefited her to learn how to speak up and set boundaries. To speak her truth especially while her voice was shaking. She welcomed and gave thanks for anyone who wasn't afraid to make noise or speak in ways that wake up love inside. Sometimes she felt like she wanted everything. Other times nothing at all.
Scouting thrift stores and finding beautiful things in short periods of time was one of her specialties. Basically she LOVE people and their stories and being in a thrift store opened up the doorway to so many souls. SHe loved other people's clothes and passions more than her own. She saw beauty in people and things no matter what they looked like. It was a sense and a feeling. A looking with the body. She loved to teach others this skill.
She was fascinated by her own process, sometimes to the point of self-absorption, but mostly because it was the own of the things that helped keep her in this world. The self explorations kept her creating. She believed she was brought here to show others how to help themselves and so she focused on things that helped her want to stay. She felt that was what we were all doing here.
Her life was full of ironies and paradoxes and often times she would forget where she was going. She once quit a spiritual training in part because she was having a really hard time with "non-attachment" and didn't feel like reading Chogyam Trungpa's "Spiritual Materialism" again. She was in a deep moment of doubt and anger on everything, and especially with God. A few months later her car (which held all her belongings including the very sacred spiritual stuff that she loved dearly from her India pilgrimages ahem..) was stolen and gone.
When the car returned only thing not taken was a photo of one of her gurus. There he was smiling at her with those compassionate eyes. Funny enough, she had been praying for ultimate freedom and truth. To be taken to her next incarnation within this life. Never without grace tears streamed down her face as she felt the relief humor in this one precious life once again. After that she prayed for easier lessons to learn.
She skipped from not feeling her body or life barely at all to years of deep body intuitions and oceans of emotions. From crawling up stairs in high school high as a kite to the terror inside the dark hole of seeking love and attention outside of herself to the most elated swimming in eternal bliss high on spiritual love, she was definitely an experience life type of learner.
There were times where she was so full of creative inspiration she was completely dissatisfied unless she was expressing it in one form or another. There were times where if she wasn't teaching or chanting or meditating she didn't want to live. Others in the silence of her room, she found herself unable to write or even speak. She would fall asleep and wake up early inside these moments that she painted as failure but knew deep down were monumental for growth. Sometimes she would feel like a lost animal in the woods in search of something she couldn't find. She longed to feel a thirst she didn't even know she had.
In natural landscapes both within and without we learn how to listen from places beyond the mind. Writing and sharing our stories with one another can help us to let them go completely and move forward confidently. But in my experience this takes support and a lot of love. Our songs and stories need to be loved and appreciated because they hold our gifts to share. We help each other process , accept with love these stories and remember REBIRTH again and again. I'd love to support you in unleashing your creative energy and fire into your life and the world!
Contact me with any questions and visit the retreat page to get details on our SUPERNATURAL healing yoga, tea ceremony, Kirtan, meditation, self and other relational work and rituals. We would love to give back and take care of you and your fire!